A link to the short story My Reason that I posted on hubpages.com. It was written for my lover, in hopes
that he would understand the depths of what i endured during our time apart, and what it means
to me to have him back. I posted it originally as a story about the depths of eternal love, but due to it's positive feedback
I have added a link here for those of you interested in reading it.

My Reason

This morning my son Alex, who is 2, allowed me to film him, and was actually interactive.
This never happens, so you can imagine my delight.
We played with the camera a bit, and followed up with a mini photo session on top of that.
You can follow the links to see both the videos we made and the results of the picture fest.
I can't believe this tiny boy was looking over the pictures and then telling me he needed shots with
"more teeth" and "more light." It was a riot. He never wants to sit still for me, so I don't know what
came over him today, but I tell you I loved it. Enjoy the videos...they're short, but terribly sweet.
Perhaps you had to be there to find the humor in the photo set, but they are adorable all the same.

http://vimeo.com/user2248633/videos/sort:date

Just leave me alone with my thoughts. Someone is watching over me I can feel it.
Why then, am I so alone? When I enter this hibernation period it is for the most contradictory of reasons.
I long to distance myself from those awful everyday occurrences,
And yet when I meditate it is about the very thing I am trying to hide from.
What a dilemma I should be in! If the curse I carry...brought upon myself...leads me into this darkness,
Who would follow me? I see a hopeless void today. A void of vast shadows and endless night.
Better to be alone than with the reaper. But I am not truly alone am I?
I try to look beyond these feelings, knowing they will pass.
But much of the time I do not know what I am looking for, or at.
It is a searching that is deeper than the visual eye can see.
The inner soul search that I must continue to try to solve, for him. For us.
Without his love I would surely have given up. I notice the days like this are fewer now.
There is an intellectual need for the pain on days like today. The silence and isolation.
So that I can reflect on these things.
So that I can see that what once would have killed me,
Now only makes me hurt. And while it is a terrible hurt, if I have him to hold me as I cry,
I know tomorrow, I may smile again.